i've been thinking abit.


i'm so easily affected by what people think of me. LOL

should'nt be the case la i guess.

i should be strong and stand up for myself right?



wrong,
cause then i would'nt be true to myself.

sides

i can take this shit.

okay i, starting to sound totally random.


life has been packed recently.

too tired(pah. lazy more like) to journal so here i am, blogging.


oh yeah.

i've decided not to lock up the blog.

because i really dont have anything to hide.


this is who i am, this is my life to share.

what kind of light to the w0rld am i if i can't even shine.


this is my journey, world.

embrace it, or leave me be. (i'd rather you like me..=x )


heres a few stuff i picked up over the last few days


ya know. people are people, not person(s).

to each his own perspectives.. fortune.. and of course, rights to having their voice heard.
its like, what they say does;nt even have to be intellectually sensible or even moral for that matter. All that matters is that we are heard. We take life for granted too often, coercing others into a realm of false objectivity. (should'nt be using this word.. i barely understand it lol) i mean, i could go on forever but i'd just end up contradicting myself.

simply put,
things meant for simplicity should just be what it is, simple.(does'nt the word pimple come to mind... yuck). life is too short to be taken into by droning philosophy or pointless arguements. Its too fragile for yes, self-admiring men (yes you, with the DP of yourself on your mobile screen) and overbearing women who think nothing of others.( yes, bitches.)

so what can the rest of the world do? how are the precarious 14 year olds like muah going to be safe from the treachery that is this generation?


audio slave-
Be yourself, is all that you can do.. oowwaarhhh
be yourself, is alllll that euu canch ddooooowarrrrrrhh!!!!


haha. what a joke this post has been.
i guess what i wanted to do is prove to myself,
that i'm not exactly incapable of a 19 year old's reasonably well thoughtout and mature standpoint of life and extrubant display of rather meaningless vocabulary.

(you can thank my very sensitive nature to being called a kid)

DOES THAT MEAN I"M INSECURE?!
perhaps
but i dont give a shit.
which means i'm secure.
lol -.-"


riight.

back to earth,

i very much love to be myself.
i love to be a kid when the world is growing up.

i believe this being a kid thing.. its my inner support system against my circumstances.
this is how i stay strong and even happy, but perhaps its not really the right thing to do?
what is right, what is wrong.
haha. more meaningless questions.
i guess this is what the holidays are for.

see, being a kid means being spontaneous, lively, fun loving and creative, but when the kid does'nt get his way, it results in emotional ourbursts, anger and frustration. Sometimes we like to be childish but often it puts us into dependant and often self defeating posistions.

i guess thats my major issue.

i do feel dependant on my friends. emotionally that is. without my friends.. i feel lost and like a part of me is incomplete. thats probably why when one of them thinks bad of me, i feel so affected, as if part of me is turning against me. yeahhhhh.


lol. all this self reflection and cooling weather is making me quite moody. =x

quick recap,

just been to FOC egypt and 2 days later went off to LOST camp.
LOL

camp siau sia.


loved FOC, i think.

but almost forgot everything already.
stupid short term memory.

i can remember the emotions though,
when the camp ended.
most of everyone was in tears.
i almost cried too! awww. hahahha

in memory of sickos,
may the times we had never wash away from our eyes.
<3



LOST camp was really good,
learnt new stuff.

God is real-er to me now. hahha.

luke's testimony is really powerpack to the max.

thats why i'm joining CF, i hope i can make a difference, give back to the body of Christ that has done so much for me :)

they said their first impression of me was that on an AH BENG, HAHAHA. siau ahhh. haha
maybe i was too tired from FOC.
o well.


new friends..
almost numb to the feeling already.
i dunno. hhaa



alite. jase out