i always wondered which was the case.

that i stick around with them,
cause they so called needed me to be around them just in case they needed some like you know, guidance from the good side.
or was it because i needed them for company and whatever.. sustain my darker side? lol. *rolls eyes.

they were good with the various stuff they were good at.
and they helped me with alot of my decisions.
say.. buying an new ear piece? what colour to dye my hair?even recently. what kind of furniture i should use for my new shop.
but it does'nt have anything to do with the friendship.
i dont even like making use of friends.

actually the hair stlylist did'nt do anything.
but the one good at computer and audio and stuff..
lol.surprised me tonight. just abit though. haha.

cause no one is perfect.
i just thought since he'd understood my problems quite clearly,
he would'nt cross the line.
apparently different lines were drawn. he overestimated mine.

so, obviously he crossed my lines,even though he din't think he did.
otherwise i would'nt be blogging.
the thing is, he just could'nt back down.
i just had to be the one at fault and he was immaculate.
turns out i had to be the one to change if i wanted to continue the friendship.

so maybe if i was'nt proud myself i'd just take his shit.
but i guess sometimes, i have to stand up for myself.
why should i let people determine the person i want to be,
and even the person i already am and cannot change even if i want to.
some friends are worth having and some are just not.


after a rather quick and abrupt tearing, i realise now that firstly actually it does'nt matter anymore. then i also understood that


******

breaking news.

he smsed and said.

i betrayed him more than i can ever have betrayed him.

LOL
i'm like.

ookay. should'nt that be my line hahahaha.

okay you know what.

this subject become so stupid to me now that i cant be bothered to blog any futher.

matter closed.