yesterday was kinda spastic


i'm going to ns!

jking. wahaha
got some letter from government.
wadev.

like i need some more reminding i'm not where i'm supposed to be huh..

after work conan came by and we went long johns to eat.
i felt completely depressed.
i was so tired and he was just energetic like some spastic fuck.
and we earned the same amount of cash in one day.
supposedly.
i', not even getting 2 per hour for my training period.
cause he has qualifications, and i don't.
i'm not a jc student..

i really need to go back to God.
go back to God jian..

i can;t relate to anyone close.
thank God i;ve met marc and leon though,
they can give me support.
still. we've not reached that level yet..

its all too much sometimes you know,
the past.. all that failures,
the present, where my best friend is already so far ahead.
the future, where i know i'm left behind.

two years.
twicefold.

who can deal with that?
if i haven't found God..
i would have jumped off any building like any moment i felt like it.




and i'll sing, because the world can;t take away your love.


thanks to God.. i don;t hurt everyday, huh.

he's lifted my weight on my shoulders,

that i can stand up again.

that i may rise above the eagles.


and give him all the glory.



thank you jesus. :)