dota really affecting me.
keep losing
but thats besides the point.

i keep getting moved..
in an angry way.
stupid minor things like dota..
never even thought of it

i;ve totally lost my fire.
feels even worse than before i started my whole on fire thing two weeks ago.
won;t say much,
just feeling unsure of everything
test of faith?

oh yeah, he;s there with me.
but where?
is he there for me?
how?

questions.. questions..
why lord. why does it have to be this way?
i'm quite tired enough.

perhaps not enough,
but enough.

if God favours everyone equally..
then whats the point of us being christians really?
am i being realistic or just selfish?
i;m not the judge.
sure.. we get to go up,
but what about here..

thats how i feel..just about.
just feeling blue?
everything muffled, cloudy..
only focusing on tasks on hand..
i don;t like this state of mind..
sigh?
lol.

my dnt project has taken shape..haha
nows the hard part.. adjusting the poles and everything
i need teacher to help me with it
and off to some course she did.
lol



anyhow.. after school met benard fatin and alif who were biking.. nard asked me to balde with em. spasticing.. tried 360 but din have the guts to do it on smooth ground. bryan asked me to gym.. too shagged so ended up watching deal or no deal. poor guy, i liked him. ate macs for dinner. kept thinking of the video.. yeuch..

then dota-ed.. lost as usual
pissed for 2 minutes
let it go
wondered ahwile.. what the hell am i doing..

would very much like to vulgarise this post
but i'm just.. whatever.

proud of my friendster pics
not too shabby..
yay.
still pissed.

and no vulgarities.
goodnight everyone.

blades and sentosa tmr.. love [3