sad year.


kuku heng just passed away.. haiz.
so why not? why not heal your child..did he deserve it?
i seek to understand lord..

sian.so what was the offering for? what was the point?i can;t bring back the dead with 50 dollars..

he was a really nice man. i still remember that little house of his, where i ate the nicest mee goreng i've ever had. he cooked them for me, the way i liked it. then he drove me to school? ya know people. the things ppl did for you in life a long time ago, well. appreciate them. thank them. love them.

last thing i ever said to him was, would you like me to turn off the lights?
what kind of ass hole was i? i should i have sat there, and talked to him. about life? about how everything works out.. i miss these conversations. haiz.

computers really put us in a different world you can;t get out of. your mind corrodes away, your spirit screams for freedom. eyes look away as your vision blurs into nothingness. yet are computers evil? nah. it has been our choice since the beginning. to fight, or take chances.to stand up, or be beaten down.so choose wisely, friends. choose wisely, jian.

=x.

well.. fixed my bike today. wanted to book chalet but dad was;nt arnd. kinda disappionted cuase dad;s drunk and he;s not really supporting me ideas. and also.. theres no ELECTRICITY in that shit of a hut. yea, air con and lights but where the fuck are the power points. HOW TO CHARGE PHONE.. CAMERA.. HOW TO PLAY MUSIC SIA.. sian-ed.

i must make it happen.always tried with God's strength, but often i failed. pastor can be wrong too you know. God. stand by me. watch me grow. i will take risks, and rise slowly.bless me and my journey. blessth me. blessth your name, o king.


bought alot of books. borrowed malay book.
limits jian. set limits.
anyway.. aft brrow the malay book. met uncle frank along the way home. hmm. its like.. its been awhile since i was in that state of mind.

but looking back. was it all just foolishness? was it all just a joke to my own brain, or stubborn ego?different mentality or mindset? still. it was something.

o and no more dota. dota badd..



where'd you go? i miss you so. =)