back.
internets sooo distracting when it comes to malay homework. haha. alright.. topic of the day.. well.. and yesterday.. goal setting..

- i got freaking distracted.. and i turned on the com.. hah.
-i am tempted to play maple.. wtf is that.. GOAL SETTING SAYS NO GAMES TODAY.
-games are the same as blogging.. waste time.. but different meaning? haha.

gonna be serious now.. but u'll see in a few days.. i'ma gonna start playing games and shit all over again.. i can;t stay commited..dammit! alright.. i;m controlling my swearing now.. it's getting better.. i take note before i put down swear words.. but for now.. WHATEVER. just put. it's so satan-ly. urgh.

God pulled me through this 16years of my life. no point to waste it ALL dammit.. feel pissed! i'm letting satan seduce me into slacking.. FUCK DAMMIT. DAMMIT! i fucking cried when i got my results. FUCKING FACE IT JIAN. DUN RUN AWAY FROM REALITY AS FUCKING ALWAYS.god gave you this fucking chance.. he cut your intenet from you.. and he put you in an N class.. WHAT FUCKING MORE DO U NEED TO WAKE UP..ANOTHER FIGHT? ANOTHER CONAN CHEONG? HUH?DO U WANT TO BE ANOTHER sAMUEL LIM? WTF IS WORN GWITH YOU. ENJOYING N CLASS? WTF.

THINK jian. THINK. THINK REAL HARD. you've got the most powerful force by your side on earth and u take it for granted.do u need your case to be as you know who?how much does god need to drow u in your and his tears??!?! how times have u fucking cried of frustration and anger.. how much has the computer ruined your life last year.. CONTROL IT. dun let it control you BITCH. GET OUT FUCKING ADDICTION. I LET U IN BUT I WANT U OUT.

just accept it.. YOUR NOT PeRFECT. always in your mind.. oh i'm better than you.. i can think better than you.. well FUCK YOU. the world does'nt work that way.

the works of HIS people are evident not by their words, but their FRUITS. where are your fruits jian? WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING FRUITS.


[stressed in blogger-land,still carefree in life]


damit. its true. as i sit here scolding the fuck out of myself, my heart is not moved.. i dun feel pissed at myself.. stupid 16 years of my life.. building up resistance to this kind of shit.. i can;t even break myself.. what more can conan do to me now..

[and i pray, i belive.]

his son was sent here , live, and died. all for me. and what u give back? fucking shit results.. fucking attitudes that dun matter to society anymore.. nor in God;s heart. damn u sinner. i dun belong to hell neither do i deserve it. but heck. the idea sickens me. forget it.. stupid satan putting funny thoughts again.. shit him. annoying crap..back to topic.. the longest bible reading i ever had was like, only 2 hours.. and that was 3 nights ago.. and i habven't seen my bible since. hah.

[empty promises]
going jogging.. reading bible.. stop lying to yourself!!!!!!!!!WHAT MORE TO GOD. BE MORE LIKE CHIRST PLEASE. WHATEVER IS CALLED IN HIS NAME HE WILL DO IT. pah.

[justin lam something something]
you la. ask me online. xD haha.. can;t say sorry?big problem huh.. it's called PRIDE.. taking parents for granted.. it's all familliar to me..i also wanna sit infront.. haha.. ehh.. we made our mistakes liau.. but since this mindset of ours makes us attentive and not sleepy.. we better keep it.. i wrote "hard working" for my mind map in character.. let's keep it that way for both of us.. anddd.. when i sleeping slap me please.. and if u dun mind.. i will whack your back or something when u do.. haha.. support you.. you support me.. we can do it de! haha. and you can freakin erase that "quiet" personality.. i'll be screaming soon.. it's the 3rd week liau.. haha.

god. i will keep my promise for tonight. and so.. bless the world. bless the cell group. bless eternity. bless Justin.. heal the sick.. undo poverty.. and let me be the blessings.. chirst name i pray.. amen.