[[thank you julie and leo.]]

i guess i hav to come clean someday...i've been given my choice..to fit in or nt..foolish boy..i did not see clearly..i never expected it..haha..now i know..nothing is impossible eh friend?man..now i know..u were a waste of my time..and now..a waste of my energy and..tears..i cannot belive why i would do such childish things..as i walked down the escalators..i knew that u;ve always known abt wht would happen..but u din' care..now..our friendship has ceased to exsist..is this what u want?u;ve never given me mroe than i needed..u never went the extra mile..did u think i did not care about these things?i know u;re smart..u'r gifted with the knowledge we all craved..to have a higher mentality than the rest..you were special..now i think..yes u are special..but no more to me..though i do not deny it..i would'nt deny anything anymore..but is this qestion that burns in my mind..of all the things u;ve known about me..why would u do this..could'nt u just try?i would show u no more of my vunerablity,friend.cause u are of no more in my mind..i have no need of u anymore..i shall move on..with god's grace only..i will do it..maybe i am in the darkness now..but u;ve changed me..and i;ll never be the same..that is why i despise u.yes.i despise EVERYTHING that u are..and everythign u've done TO me and FOR me..now..i hae no place to go..no place to look forward..i do not think i would ever return to the place where i TRULY BELONG!WHY?I ESPECIALLY HATE U FOR BARRING ME FROM THAT PLACE!IT WAS MY hAVEN!MY sANUTARY!but i will NOT lose my sanity to your selfishness..i WILL NOT succumb to mY FOOLISHNESS AGAIN.i will NOT LET YO)U sEE ME FALL BECUASE OF YOU.and..i will not cry again because of us..my tears for you have dried.i have nothing agaisnt u anymore..for u shall cease to exsist..and i will become STRONG AGAIN.

p.s thanks again julie and leonard..